


Cherry and Lionel's Adventure with Harley Quinn

by PerkyGoth14



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 06:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17038370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerkyGoth14/pseuds/PerkyGoth14
Summary: When Poison Ivy and the Floronic Man team up to enact a sinister scheme that will most likely extinguish all life on the planet, Batman, Nightwing, Bat-Mite, Lady Gothika (and Sayiaman, to a lesser extent) must join forces with the Joker's ex-girlfriend, Harley Quinn to track down the villains, especially with Lionel and Cherry's upcoming nuptials on the way. They're working together, but they don't have to like it--after all, it's more than madness, it's QUINNSANITY!!





	1. Chapter 1

Lionel, AKA Bat-Mite, stretched as he took in the view of Gotham City. "...Honestly, I never thought we would be back here again," he commented. "But after all the zaniness we've been through recently, it's nice to come back to familiar surroundings."

Cherry soon stepped out next, straightening out her mask before putting it on as they entered the city of Gotham.

"We haven't been back here since Joker attempted to poison the barbecue sauce at the police force cookout last summer..." Bat-Mite nodded.

A word bubble appeared nearby, labeled: As seen in Harley Quinn and Batman, Issue 1!

"Boy, was THAT an ordeal. Clown boy got sent up the river permanently, and Harley ditched him. A perfect ending to a successful case." Bat-Mite continued.

"I guess you're ready then?" Cherry asked once she slid on her mask, becoming Lady Gothika as she entered her home away from home. "In a way, I guess this could be my other home, especially from when I first met Batman himself... Ever since then, he decided to keep me safe from then on after we first met..." she then added which showed she hadn't known the billionaire as long as some people thought she may had.

Bat-Mite nodded. "As I'll ever be!" he replied.

And they both headed off into the city as the animated opening credits sequence began, and the art style changed.

WARNER BROS. ANIMATION presents

KEVIN CONROY

MELISSA RAUCH

Batman stood next to the logo, as Harley snuck up behind him...and whacked him with her mallet, flattening him.

"BATMAN: QUINNSANITY" (Harley spray paints the word Quinnsanity underneath the Batman word.)

Atticus was suddenly shown in a dramatic pose and he then smiled bashfully to the confused audience at seeing him. "Oh, I'm not in this story much, I'm just making my mandatory story appearance which I've been requesting for since I was able to friend Cherry's real-life counterpart on Facebook," he then explained while trying to sound casual at the same time. "Remember to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on Discovery Family! ...Formerly the Hub... Formerly Discovery Kids..."

Featuring the voices of...

PAGET BREWSTER as Poison Ivy

LOREN LESTER as Nightwing

CHRISTINA RICCI as Lady Gothika

QUINTON FLYNN as Bat-Mite

COLLIN DEAN as Sayiaman

And KEVIN M. RICHARDSON as The Floronic Man

"My Little Pony is awesome!" Atticus beamed and squeaked like a pony.

Cherry and Lionel peeked out from the corner, glancing a bit unimpressed as he was basically a walking advertisement for Friendship is Magic.

"Why are you friends with him again?" Lionel asked.

"You're just preaching to the choir," Cherry muttered slightly. "...Also I know I've heard of Melissa Rauch's name somewhere before..."

"She's on The Big Bang Theory!" Lionel replied. "She plays Bernadette, the girl with that high-pitched voice!"

"Oh! That explains it." Cherry then said once she knew that now.

"Alright...I think the opening credits are winding down now. Now we can get the story started..." Lionel replied as the art style returned to normal.

"Come along then..." Cherry said. "It's time to get dangerous~"

"Right on that, Darkwing!" Lionel nodded, before changing back into his Bat-Mite suit.

"Sorry... There's just something about that catchphrase... It's always exciting." Cherry replied as she dressed as Lady Gothika.

They soon dashed off together to go where they were called for.

"Gothy, is that you?" Sayiaman asked.

"Sayiaman?" LG replied, a bit surprised.

"What's up? This is a Batman story, not a JLA story." Bat-Mite replied.

"Yes, but I am your best friend," Sayiaman replied. "I thought maybe I could help out a little."

"All right, but you better not hog the spotlight," Lady Gothika told him. "Superman's not around here, ya know."

"I know..." Sayiaman replied. "I guess I owe ya for those times I would have adventures with Superman while you'd just wait for me back home."

"Yeah, this time we're not gonna be outstaged by you, boy-scout!" Bat-Mite snorted.

"Is that my fault?" Sayiaman replied.

"Do you really want me to answer that question?" Lady Gothika retorted.

"...Let's go." Sayiaman said before walking off, deciding to drop the subject for right now.

"Yeah, let's. We haven't been here in six years, so I figure we should have lots of awesome fun before the... Big event." Bat-Mite winked at LG.

"Are you suggesting...?" Lady Gothika narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "...Wrestling?"

Bat-Mite pinched the bridge of his nose. "No... The OTHER big event! The REALLY special one we mentioned before coming here?" he replied. "Alright... Lemme refresh your memory..." Then, like Courage the Cowardly Dog, he proceeded to mime out two people walking down a path, then mimed a preacher saying 'do you take this so-and-so to be your lawfully wedded so-on?' "There. Remember now?"

"Ohh... Right..." Lady Gothika replied bashfully. "Sorry, it's been a long day."

Bat-Mite sighed. "Fair enough..."

"Anything special you want though?" LG asked him softly.

"Hey, it's fine. You being there makes it plenty special..." Bat-Mite replied. "Just hope all our friends know about it," He then reached down and pulled up the story's description: "When Poison Ivy and the Floronic Man team up to enact a sinister scheme that will most likely extinguish all life on the planet, Batman, Nightwing, Bat-Mite, Lady Gothika (and Sayiaman, to a lesser extent) must join forces with the Joker's ex-girlfriend, Harley Quinn to track down the villains, especially with Lionel and Cherry's upcoming nuptials on the way. They're working together, but they don't have to like it-after all, it's more than madness, it's QUINNSANITY!" He then pushed the description back down and looked onto the streets, seeing Nightwing on his motorcycle, driving through town. "Hey, it's Nightwing!" he remarked. "Maybe we can head down there and see what he's up to!"

"I feel like I haven't seen him in ages." LG said, referring to Nightwing who was like a big brother to her from her adventures in Gotham.

"Same here!" Bat-Mite replied. "I remember back when he was still the Boy Wonder. Good times."

They soon jumped down together and began to go after Nightwing. Nightwing kept riding by, though looked around as if he felt like he was being followed.

"Ahoy, NW!" Bat-Mite waved, floating to the side. "What's up?"

"Huh?" Nightwing blinked and looked over. "Bat-Mite?"

"Not just him." LG replied.

"Lady Gothika... How long has it been?" Nightwing asked her, feeling surprised.

"I'd say, six years, really." Bat-Mite replied, conjuring up an envelope. "Figured LG would want you to have this invite."

Nightwing quickly took it as he had to focus on the road. "I'll open it after we stop, okay?" he then said to them.

"Okay." Lady Gothika and Bat-Mite replied as that would be smart.

"So, where exactly are you headed?" asked Sayiaman, after a brief period of silence.

"Batman and I have been called," Nightwing said. "Apparently there's been a crime involving a certain someone known as Poison Ivy."

"Ah yes, the plant lady..." Bat-Mite noted. "Looks like we'll have to uproot her before her seed of evil blossoms into a chlorophyllic calamity! But if I know Ivy, she's awfully sneaky. We'll need to find the next best thing: someone close to her. But who?"

"I thought Ivy changed a bit... She's a good friend of mine's aunt like Catwoman is mine..." Lady Gothika had a small pout as that seemed unfortunate.

"She might not be a villain, but she's STILL an eco-terrorist," Bat-Mite replied.

Sayiaman sighed. "I just hope that Nature Girl doesn't turn out like that..."

Bat-Mite flipped through his journal. "Apparently, in the Injustice universe, she takes over Ivy's role and becomes ruler of the rainforests... And since every queen needs a king, well... She didn't hesitate to control your mind." he read.

"Well then..." Sayiaman's eyes slowly widened.

"Oh, trust me, I know a lot about the rainforest," Lady Gothika replied. "I've been to Ferngully."

"Oh, I remember that film!" Bat-Mite replied. "The two best parts for me were Batty Koda's rap, and Hexxus's musical number."

They soon stopped and came inside to meet Batman as the workers seemed to be in distress over encountering Poison Ivy.

"Looks like I have work to do." Nightwing said as he headed over for a computer, putting the envelope in his pocket as he would get to it later.

"Cool," Bat-Mite replied. "Figure we should go in and help."

"Let me help you with that." LG said as she joined Nightwing since she liked technology.

"Is anyone hurt?" Sayiaman asked.

"Some of us are, kid... Say, aren't you Superman's kid?" One worker replied.

"Yeah, but Lady Gothika's a good friend of mine, so I thought I'd help out a little since Superman's busy elsewhere." Sayiaman said.

"Alright, so anyone wanna explain what went down here?" asked Bat-Mite.

"Nothing was physically stolen," A woman replied. "...Obviously."

"Obviously." Lady Gothika rolled her eyes to that.

"Sure, physically," Sayiaman replied. "But was anything taken? Anything important?"

"There was no effort to minimize collateral," Batman stated. "This was about information."

"There's no way Poison Ivy could've accessed S.T.A.R Labs' secure data." The woman replied.

"Wanna bet?" Lady Gothika challenged as she stood with Nightwing.

"Unless she had a scientist with her..." Bat-Mite replied, glancing at the video footage. "Okay, she drugged the scientist for the codes, but... The big guy is new... To this universe, at least."

"Dr. Alec Holland..." Lady Gothika said.

"Holland... Holland... Why does that sound so familiar?" Nightwing asked himself.

"You mean the man who became Swamp-Thing?" Bat-Mite replied.

"That must be it!" Nightwing replied once he got that.

Bat-Mite squinted at the footage. "Nah... That's a different guy with Ivy. Holland went off the grid months ago," he replied. "That dude is Jason Woodrue, alias the Floronic Man."

"Reeeallly...?" Lady Gothika replied in an Ace Ventura fashion. "The plot thickens like my hair after not being washed for a while."

"Indeed. Like I said on the way here, Ivy and Plant-man are clearly heading somewhere," Bat-Mite explained. "We're gonna have to find any informant Ivy might have... But WHO?"

"Who's one person who would know Poison Ivy better than anyone?" Sayiaman wondered. "Gothy, wouldn't that be The Joker's girlfriend?"

"Oh, no," Lady Gothika replied. "No, no, no, no, no..."

"But...?" Sayiaman asked.

"NO!" Lady Gothika replied. "Absolutely not! NO! I refuse to speak to that nutsy cuckoo clown!"

"Same. As much as it pains me to say it... I actually used to like her..." Bat-Mite sighed, embarrassed. "Of course, that resulted in me losing my powers, Joker reshaping reality, Batman being murdered, brought back to life, only to be murdered over and over, and both of us being reduced to his jesters."

"You liked that Cloud Cuckoo Lander...?" Lady Gothika asked, raising her eyebrows, not insulting him, but a bit surprised to hear that was once a true fact.

Bat-Mite sighed. "Yeah... I was just starting out, and I made that stupid mistake... Serves me right." he responded, chuckling darkly.

"I see..." Lady Gothika replied. "Not mad or angry, just making an observation."

Bat-Mite exhaled. "Cool. Because I'm over it, and I'm over that miserable broad." he replied.

"Last I heard, Harley went off the grid after she got out on parole," Nightwing said about Harley Quinn. "No one's heard a thing since. Rumor is she's gone 'straight,' but also just plain gone."

"As much as it sickens me to say this, we might just need her help," Bat-Mite replied. "But at least she hasn't been recruited into some government task force comprised of criminals being used to fight bigger threats, because that sounds really stupid."

"Fair enough... But before anything else..." Nightwing heaved a sharp sigh and soon decided to open up the envelope to see what was given to him from Bat-Mite and Lady Gothika. It was a wedding invite.

"Surprise..." Bat-Mite beamed.

"A wedding invitation?" Nightwing asked before smirking. "Is it you and LG?"

"Perceptive as always," Bat-Mite nodded. "I see these past six years haven't slowed you down even a bit."

"I'm sorry it's been too long... Thank you for inviting me though," Nightwing replied. "I really look forward to it."

"Hey, don't sweat it," Bat-Mite replied. "We'd be glad to have ya."

"Even if we got work to do though with Harley Quinn of all people..." Nightwing sighed.

Bat-Mite sighed. "Might as well go looking for her. Sooner we find her, the quicker we can get this done." he replied.

"I'm sorry, but we might as well." Nightwing agreed.

"All right... Interrogation..." Lady Gothika smirked. "Time to put my acting lessons into good use."

So they headed off with Nightwing to look for some answers. Sayiaman soon went to join them since he was apart of this adventure. And so, they asked around town if anyone had seen her. So far, it didn't seem like they had much luck. Luckily, they eventually managed to track her to a shoddy-looking, rundown apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, this is it, huh?" Sayiaman asked.

"Kinda looks like where my dad hangs out." Lady Gothika murmured.

"Feels like the bad side of town; the kind populated by alcoholics, muggers, and hookers." Bat-Mite added.

"Come on then, we might as well get this over with." Lady Gothika replied.

Bat-Mite nodded, and they proceeded forward. Harley was trying to find the key to her apartment, when she heard Nightwing and the others approach.

"Hey, Harley. Long time no see." Nightwing announced.

"Not that there was anything WRONG with that." Bat-Mite added.

"I'd like to keep it that way." Harley retorted.

"You're a hard girl to find, pretty clever to hide in plain sight like that," Lady Gothika replied. "Anyway, we have a few questions."

"For example: Where can we find your BFF, Poison Ivy?" Nightwing queried. 

Harley crossed her arms, giving them a long look from asking a question like that.

"Save it, honey," Harley snorted. "I don't mix it up with the costume crowd anymore. I've turned over a new leaf, as it were."

Bat-Mite sighed as he stepped forward. "Poor choice of words." he replied.

"Listen, Ivy's fallen in with the wrong crowd," Nightwing told Harley. "She and Jason Woodrue are up to something. And we have to stop them. They're a lethal combo, Harley. Lots of people could get hurt or killed. Ivy could get hurt or killed."

Harley paused to think about it before glaring. "Nuh-uh! I'm done with capes and tights and masks. Just trying like hell to lead a normal life."

Bat-Mite scoffed. "Normal? In the DC universe? HA! Not likely."

"Funny that you're not, say, using your psychiatric training to make a decent living," Nightwing said to Harley. "Instead of dressing up in skimpy red and black for minimum wage plus tips... Pretty weird way to kick a habit."

"You've got to be just itching to get back in the game." Lady Gothika added.

"Nice try, but you're on your own, Mini-Bat, Nightwig, and Baby Bat." Harley scoffed back as she took out her keys to open her door.

"You haven't reported to your parole officer in months," Nightwing retorted. "I should just drag your crazy a** back to jail right now."

"In fact..." Bat-Mite snorted, conjuring a pair of cuffs. "I sez we KO the broad, cuff her, and toss her in the slammer!"

"That's fine by me." Lady Gothika replied without changing her monotone.

"Hey, now! Maybe we can talk this through!" Sayiaman suggested.

"We could, but nope!" Bat-Mite replied.

"Okay, if you say, I'm adaptable." Sayiaman shrugged.

"YAAAAUGH!" Lady Gothika yelled out as she jumped like in an anime pose, but soon, Harley kicked her away.

"Looks like it's time for the cyclone special!" Bat-Mite decided as he cracked his knuckles and curled into a ball shape before bouncing around off the walls like a pinball before he hit the ground and began spinning around Harley like the Tasmanian devil. "Just gotta speed up the rotation.... Drain the oxygen, knock her out... Easy!"

"Just don't kill her," Lady Gothika said. "I'm not saying you would do that and I'm not Harley's biggest fan myself, but we need her alive... No matter how much I'd enjoy the second option."

"Re....lax..." Bat-Mite replied as he whirled around and around. "I'll only knock her out cold, but she'll still be breathing!"

Lady Gothika soon turned aside so that she wouldn't get herself dizzy.

"Hold still, ya little twerp!" Harley snapped at Bat-Mite.

"Nothing doin', sister!" Bat-Mite retorted. "You wouldn't play along and come nicely, so I gotta do what I gotta do!"

"You've always been a sharp pain in the butt!" Harley glared. "How do you have any friends?!"

"I got a great personality, and a way-cool attitude!" Bat-Mite replied. "But you fell in love with a psycho clown, then an eco-terrorist who's part-veggie! Your alleged friends are willing to ditch you when things get tough, but my buddies will ALWAYS be there to back me up! Like two months ago, when Gridlock stole that time machine and intended to send the whole world back to the 1950s! The JLA was out fighting space monsters, so yours truly had to step up to the plate, and give that nostalgia hog a sound takedown!"

Harley glared, trying to grab Bat-Mite, but she soon got dizzy and seemed to black out.

"Uh-oh, you look kinda tired... Nighty-night, don't let the bedbugs bite." Bat-Mite sneered as his spinning slowed to a stop.

Harley grumbled as she blacked out.

"Are you done yet?" Lady Gothika asked as she looked away. "I don't wanna have another episode."

"He's done, Gothy, it's okay." Sayiaman smiled to his best friend.

"Yup. She's out like a light." Bat-Mite ensured.

"Way to go, Bat-Mite," Sayiaman said. "Now, we just gotta make sure she cooperates once she comes to. Uh... Question is... Where are we taking her?"

"Well, that's for Batman to decide." Bat-Mite replied. "Sent him our location, he should be here shortly."

"All right, let's wait for the big man then." Sayiaman said.

"Right," Nightwing agreed. "By the way, Bat-Mite? LG? Congratulations to both of you."

"Thanks," Bat-Mite replied. "Might invite a few of our other pals."

But none of them noticed Harley regaining consciousness and poking them with something... That made them all begin laughing uncontrollably.

"Some girls like mace, I prefer a little low-grade Joker venom," Harley explained, revealing a small tack on her hand. "Only useful thing I ever got from that asshat."

"Damn... You.... Vile woman....!" Bat-Mite managed to say in between his laughing fit.

"Nighty-night, jerks." Harley sneered as everything went black.

"I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD, HARLEY QUINN!" Lady Gothika yelled out before she broke into her own laughing fit which sounded that of a deranged hyena.

"Even her laugh is sexy....." Bat-Mite managed to say in between his fit of laughter.

Eventually, they all blacked out, much to Harley's sadistic satisfaction.

Eventually, Harley managed to drag Nightwing into her apartment, leaving the others outside. And since Batman arrived a few minutes later, as the team regained consciousness, they proceeded to head up to Harley's apartment to find him.

"Ugh... My head is killing me..." Lady Gothika muttered.

"Same here. I'm gonna give that wretched wench a piece of my mind!" Bat-Mite agreed. "But not even a piece might be left after I'm done..."

"Are guys hurt?" Batman asked.

"Emotionally or physically?" Lady Gothika glared as she hugged her knees.

"Nah, I'm alright," Bat-Mite replied, leaning down to LG. "What about you, LG?"

"I just have a mild headache..." Lady Gothika replied.

Sayiaman soon handed her some aspirin with a glass of water.

"Thanks..." Lady Gothika grunted and soon took a drink.

"Good thing my species is naturally immune to poisons and whatnot," Bat-Mite replied. "I was faking unconsciousness to throw the wench off."

"I'm surprised I got hit too," Sayiaman replied. "If I weren't such a gentleman, I'd actually get her back."

Bat-Mite rolled his eyes. "You're so damn chivalrous. Guess that's what makes you great, man. Try not to change too much."

"I try my best, really I do," Sayiaman replied. "Superman taught me otherwise after all."

Bat-Mite snorted. Until he heard someone cry out. "It's Nightwing... He sounds like he's struggling! He's in danger!" he gasped.

"Come on, we better go then." Lady Gothika said as she held her head, hoping her headache would go away sooner. 

They soon went after Nightwing to save him from Harley.

Bat-Mite used a headbutt to take out the door, allowing them entry. "Hang on, Nightwing, the cavalry has arrived!" he announced.

Nightwing appeared to be tied to a bed.

"Uh... Is this a bad time?" Sayiaman asked nervously.

Bat-Mite gasped. "Seriously, man?" he asked.

"It's not what it looks like, you guys!" Nightwing told them.

"Oh, really, now?" asked Bat-Mite. "Then what exactly is it?"

"Relax, ya babies, he's my hostage, I'm keepin' him outta trouble." Harley replied.

"Keeping him out of..." Bat-Mite sputtered. "If anything, YOU'RE the one who needs an eye kept on her!"

"Whatever." Harley muttered.

"Either way... As Bullwinkle once said, 'Hey, guys, wanna see me pull a rabbit outta my hat'?" asked Bat-Mite, reaching into a top hat...and pulling out Simon!! "Gee, must've been a hat into the limbo-verse..."

Lady Gothika and Sayiaman sweat-dropped to that.

"Is he a reality warper?" Harley asked about Bat-Mite.

"Eh... Sorta..." Nightwing replied.

Bat-Mite shrugged. "Eh, people were asking what happened to Forte and Simon...." he poked his head inside the hat and pulled the man out. "Well, question asked, question answered!" he replied. "Seriously though, bud; you gotta control your kid, get him to be less.... Matricide-y."

"Huh? What's happening?" Simon asked, being surprisingly verbal. "It looks way too detailed and original here... MAMA!!!!"

An alternate Cherry soon came out, looking vicious towards Bat-Mite. "LET GO OF MY ENFANT TERRIBLE, YOU HANDSOME RIP-OFF!" she then hissed before grabbing a hold of Simon and disappearing with him in a portal.

"Whoa... Now that was trippy..." Bat-Mite gasped, clutching his chest, before lighting his hand aflame and burning the hat. "And those guys are SCARY! I can't imagine what nightmare realm THEY come from... But they're not coming back HERE ever again!!"

"That was weird..." Harley muttered.

"You used to date the Joker, and this is weird?" Sayiaman teased.

"That lady...looked just like Cherry---but really SCARY!!" Bat-Mite shivered, as the hat's ashes blew away. "I'm never doin' that trick AGAIN!!"

Lady Gothika held out her arms to hug him, showing her soft side.

Bat-Mite hugged her, shuddering. "I could go the rest of my life without seeing those freaks again." he commented as they headed down to the Batmobile later.

"Come on, let's get you out of here..." Lady Gothika said. "I think you've had enough excitement for one day... I mean... We have to work with Harley Quinn of all people."

Bat-Mite nodded. "Okay. Next time those creeps show up, I'll go Donald Duck mode on them! But better remember, Quinn---" he then imitated Batman's voice for the next bit. "Listen, and listen good. You don't touch anything, say anything, or do anything unless I, or the others tell you! GOT IT?!"

"All right, sheesh, calm down, will ya?" Harley replied. "You're worse than my mother!"

"I will calm down when I WANT TO!!" Bat-Mite thundered, his head becoming a T-Rex head briefly. "NOT WHEN YOU TELL ME!!!"

"Bat-Mite...?" Lady Gothika rang almost in a melodic tone before smirking. "Settle down before you turn into Boris Badenov." 

"Oh, I am way smarter than that guy." Sayiaman muttered about Boris Badenov.

Bat-Mite blinked, before he returned to normal. "Right, sorry. Lost my head there... But when I see those guys again.... Ehehehe.... I gotta rocket launcher with their names on it! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" he giggled deviously.

"Come along then, we might as well get helping Harley Quinn over with," Lady Gothika replied. "Just as long as I'm not in the Teen Titans Go movie... Even if some people said that was good..." she then added with a lowly mutter.

"So? The first SpongeBob movie was good, and after that the show was terrible!" Bat-Mite replied.

"Tell me about it..." Lady Gothika replied. "Poor Squidward."

Bat-Mite nodded. "So no, we're NOT gonna be in the TTG movie," he replied. "But if we ever DID get stuck there, all we'd hafta do is say a buncha swear words, and they'd gladly kick us out!"

"Yes..." Lady Gothika smirked with a kitty face, growing anime devil horns. "Now then, to the Batmobile."

Batman soon came out to see the others once they regrouped, and they got into the Batmobile and drove off.


	3. Chapter 3

"Based on Goldblum's area of expertise, Woodrue and lvy's ideological profiles, and the S.T.A.R. Labs break-in, there's only one conclusion. They're going to synthesize the formula that created Swamp Thing, convert it into a fast-spreading virus and save the world by turning humanity into animal/plant hybrids." Batman explained.

Bat-Mite gasped. "Save the world... Or DOOM it! They're gonna turn everybody into... PLANTAZOIDS!" he replied.

"I'm sure it won't resort to all of that." Lady Gothika said to Bat-Mite. 

"Look, don't get me wrong, I ain't no racist, I mean, some of my best friends are plant people." Harley smirked. 

"Well, on the bright side, at least they aren't actually killing anyone." Nightwing suggested.

"Perhaps not intentionally." Batman replied.

"Here we go..." Nightwing sighed.

"It's bad enough if they succeed and we all live as plant people. But that's not even the worst-case scenario," Batman continued. "If any part of their plan is off even a slight bit, within weeks, days, maybe... We could be looking at the extinction of all life on the planet."

Bat-Mite sighed. "So... Worse than Plantazoids...." he replied.

"Jeepers!" Harley gasped.

"Then why do they need the Holland formula?" Sayiaman asked. "Why not just make the virus from themselves?"

"It's a shortcut," Batman replied. "Reverse-engineering their own DNA could take years, maybe decades. Neither of them was ever fully human to begin with. She's a natural mutation and he's an exiled dryad from another dimension."

"'Exiled dryad from'..." Harley repeated out of amusement and interest. "You're shittin' me!"

Bat-Mite chuckled to himself. "He's serious. How do you think I do all the zany stuff I do?"

"Hm.. I s'pose that's a good point." Harley admitted.

"Besides, we've seen weirder things." Nightwing said to her.

"Harley, we just need you to help us find Ivy. That's all," Batman added. "We'll handle the rest."

"No problem. I know this guy, one of Ivy's top henchmen, probably still tight with her. And he's--" Harley replied until she suddenly stood up. "Oh, my God, stop the car!"

The car screeched to a halt, and Bat-Mite shot out and splattered on the windshield. "Eccch.... What was it?" he groaned.

"It's him! That guy!" Harley alerted as she soon jumped out of the Batmobile and landed onto the streets. "HEY, YOU! BOBBY LEBOWITZ!"

"Okay, now I hear Bernadette." Lady Gothika commented to Bat-Mite.

"Toldja it was there." Bat-Mite replied as he peeled himself off the windshield.

"Oh, crap!" A man from the crowd soon ran off after seeing Harley Quinn.

Harley glared and soon chased after the man.

"Better go after her." Bat-Mite sighed, as he and the others followed behind.

"Come on then!" Batman agreed.

Sayiaman ran with super-speed he had, letting him catch up with Harley and this unknown man.

Eventually they caught up to her.

"Did you really think you could run?" Sayiaman taunted.

"Okay, so what's he know about Ivy's plan?" asked Bat-Mite.

"That's what I'd like to know." Sayiaman replied.

"SPEAK!" Lady Gothika demanded.

Harley soon shouted at Bobby and began to smack his face around out of rage.

But Bat-Mite just levitated her off of him. "Ah-ah-ah, now you two quit playin' rough, or I'll hafta put you in time-out!" he chided.

"Sorry, she's off her meds." Nightwing told Bobby, helping him up and dusting him clean.

"It won't happen again." Batman added stoically.

"But seriously, dude, it sounds like you had it coming." Nightwing then smirked.

"Well? What's his connection to Ivy? What does he know about the plan?!" Bat-Mite asked. "C'mon, woman, out with it!!"

"Ivy nuthin'!" Harley replied. "He was supposed to go to prom with me 10 years ago, but he dumped me!"

Bat-Mite began to grind his teeth, causing sparks to shoot out.

"That's it?" Sayiaman sweat-dropped to Harley Quinn. "Really?"

Bat-Mite sighed, frustrated and angry. "Are you SURE we need her for the mission? It's taking nearly all of my self-restraint to not rip her to shreds right now." he asked.

"Just try to put up with it as much as you can." Batman advised.

Bat-Mite grumbled. "Alright.... I guess I know how you guys felt when I first came to this dimension..." he replied. "Apologies."

"You're telling me." Lady Gothika commented as their first meeting wasn't exactly the best.

"But I did manage to stop that loony scientist who stole Hawkman's body and plotted to swap her brain into it!" Bat-Mite replied, referencing the events of the second issue of his comic book miniseries. "And that's when I met you two... And Nightwing, by extension."

"Yes... Of course," Batman replied. "I promise, the sooner we get over this, the sooner Harley will be gone as long as possible."

"Now that's an incentive I can live with." Bat-Mite replied as he got into the Batmobile and put on his mix CD. The song "Who's the (Bat)man" from The Lego Batman Movie began playing on the car's radio as Bat-Mite put up his hands in a "rock on" symbol, and began headbanging.

Harley proved to be getting annoyed with the others, especially with Batman telling her what to do.

"Suck it up, Quinn," Bat-Mite scoffed. "You're our only lead to Ivy, and we need your help. This is JUST like that old BTAS episode, Harlequinade! When Joker was planning to use that bomb to nuke the city from a blimp! Speaking of which... What happened to Bud and Lou, your hyenas?"

"Heck if I know," Harley shrugged. "Maybe they're back in the wild where they belong with other mangy animals like your mother."

Bat-Mite rolled his eyes. "With a personality like THAT, it's a wonder why you don't have any friends!" he retorted. "Too bad they couldn't get Hynden Walch for this one..." he muttered.

"Hmph... I waited 10 years to get that--" Harley glared.

Batman soon raised a finger to silence her.

"I was just--" Harley replied only for this to repeat. "But--.... He--"

"Hang on." Lady Gothika warned Bat-Mite as she felt like they were going to screech again.

Bat-Mite quickly buckled his seat-belt that time so he didn't hit the windshield.

Batman soon slammed on the brakes as he felt fed up with Harley right now. "Pull a stupid stunt like that again, and I'm dumping you off to the nearest Police Station." he then warned her.

"Oh, big whoop!" Harley scoffed. "'You're living under my roof, you play by my rules', is that it? Newsflash, Gruesome! You ain't my dad!"

"Thank the lord for THAT," Bat-Mite snorted. "But seriously... This is NOT a game, Quinzel!" he continued. "We need you to stay focused on the task at hand!"

"Focus-shmocus!" Harley complained. "You know, I'm starting to re-think this whole deal. Here I am helping you guys out, pro-boner I might add, and you gotta go and get all mega control-freaky on me. 'Do this, don't do that. Sit up straight. Brush after every meal. Don't bite your toenails. Keep your knees together when you're wearing a dress.'"

"For the record, I am NOT opposed to opening the roof and just tossing her out like a potato sack," Bat-Mite commented. "I bet she bounces when she hits the ground."

"Yeah, yeah, the whole world's gonna plotz! I get it, I get it!" Harley retorted. "You think I'm just some dizzy airhead that don't know nothin'. Do you know what I am?"

"My punishment for dropping out of med school." Batman replied dryly.

"Bzzt! Wrong!" Harley glared, imitating a buzzer. "I'm the answer to all your prayers, pally," she then gave the Dark Knight directions. "Take the Donnenfeld Expressway to Bludhaven. Come on. Trust me this time."

Batman, Nightwing, and Lady Gothika looked to her and each other before they all shrugged as they didn't seem to have much of a choice. 

"This better be good." Lady Gothika muttered to herself.

Then, Harley's stomach began to gurgle. "Okay, you really wanna stop the car this time," she advised. "Those Hawkgirl spicy wings I had at Superbabes are doin' a tango in my tummy."

But they didn't acknowledge it.

"Seriously, I'm dyin' back here." Harley begged, but was only met with more silence. "Okay... You asked for it."

And so Harley let off a loud, nauseating fart.

Nightwing gagged in disgust. "Holy...."

"Holy gastrointestinal distress, Batman," Bat-Mite wheezed as his face turned green. "I'm seein' a bright light... At th' end of a long tunnel..."

"Excuse you!" Sayiaman gasped in disgust.

"It's not so bad," Batman replied. "It smells like... Discipline."

"Ugh, discipline smells worse than a classroom full of high school boys after Chili Day in the cafeteria." Lady Gothika grimaced. 

"LG... Is that you...?" Bat-Mite coughed, as though he were on his deathbed. "Come closer... I beg of you..."

Lady Gothika soon came closer to him to make him feel more comfortable, even if she was disgusted beyond belief.

"I have... Three things to say..." Bat-Mite replied. "I'd... Really like to be in those Gravity Falls and DuckTales adaptations... I'm also willing to help with the possible Quack Pack adaptation... And... If I die... Make sure Thornton gets an invite. I know he's a bit dim... But he's got a good heart, and... A great head on his shoulders..."

"Yeah... Thor's a good kid sometimes..." Lady Gothika admitted about the last part. "I'm not sure about Gravity Falls and DuckTales right now, and Quack Pack sounds like it'd be an interesting experiment." 

"I get you're.... Doing the best you can; and I respect that..." Bat-Mite coughed. "But like I said... I'm more than happy to help whenever I can... I got something planned out, maybe capitalize on past plot points established in previous stories..."

Eventually, Batman relented and pulled over at a gas station.

"It's gonna be all right... We're pulling over." Lady Gothika told him.

They soon stopped and Harley hopped out to use the bathroom.

"I'll give you ten bucks if you floor it and don't look back." Nightwing muttered to Batman.

Bat-Mite flopped on the side of the car as the roof slid itself back. "Air.... Fresh, clean air...! Thank goodness!" he gasped.

But Batman ignored Nightwing's comment, and they continued on following Harley's directions... To a shady-looking nightclub with music coming from the club.

"Well, this is new." Sayiaman commented.

"I know, it looks like a total dump, but trust me, it is a total dump," Harley said to them. "Howsomever, all the cool hench-people hang out here. Betcha dollars to donuts Shrubby's inside," she then smirked, nudging Nightwing. "Guy just loves to dance."

They soon left the Batmobile and went inside of the club to explore, and they came inside to see people dancing and having a good time.

"I have nightmares like this." Nightwing muttered to himself. 

"Not sure how welcome we are here..." Bat-Mite commented.

"Ah, relax, you'll fit right in," Harley replied. "Try to look a little less stick-up-your-assy."

Up on stage, Min and Max, two of Two-Face's former lackeys, were singing a dual version of "Don't Pull Your Love". The other patrons soon looked over at the group who stumbled into the club. Lady Gothika glanced over to Min and Max as she had to admit that they were pretty good singers. 

Bat-Mite bobbed his head along to the music. "Hoo-yeah! Now that's a tune I can enjoy!" he smirked. "I call next song! We're doin' a duet, folks!"

"Uh, who's the duet with?" Lady Gothika smiled nervously. 

Bat-Mite smirked. "It was gonna be you, but I suppose it could just be a solo," he shrugged. "Besides... We'll have plenty of time for a duet when we're... Well, y'know."

Lady Gothika looked bashful about singing, but she nodded in silence.

"Aw, she's all bashful now." Sayiaman playfully teased his best friend. 

After Min and Max finished, Bat-Mite put in something on the playlist, then took the mike and stepped onstage.

"Alright, this one's for my lady, LG! We're gonna get MARRIED!!" he announced as the song started. "Don’t stop! Don’t stop! We’re in luck now! Don’t stop! There’s so much to be found! We can find paradise, all we have to do is go! Go!

Free your soul! Mysteries abound, made of a deep energy (energy!) Foes all around, but I will go, fearless and free

I’ll give you strength; you give me love, that’s how we’ll live! My courage won’t fade; if you’re with me, my enemies will never win! We will fight for love and glory, we will live to tell the story! There is nothing we can’t live through; nothing ever dies, we will rise again...! Don’t stop! Don’t stop! We’re in luck now, Don’t stop! Keep your spirit proud! And ride upon the wind, all we have to do is go! C'MON! Don’t stop! Don’t stop! We’re in luck now; Don’t stop! There’s so much to be found! We can find paradise, all we have to do is go! Go! Free your soul… Dragon Soul!" He then dropped the mike, and floated offstage.

"Well, that was something." Sayiaman smiled out of support. 

"Yeah, thanks..." Bat-Mite blushed. "It wasn't much trouble."

"I have no words... Well, okay, two," Lady Gothika said to Bat-Mite. "Thank you." 

"Hey, you're welcome." Bat-Mite replied.

"That's quite a guy ya got there." Min said to Lady Gothika.

"Uh, thank you..." Lady Gothika replied. "You two remind me of the twins from Ouran High School Host Club that I sometimes watch." 

"I suppose..." Max shrugged.

Bat-Mite looked over.

"It's an anime," Lady Gothika told Bat-Mite as she explained what she was talking about. "They're these twin brothers who usually use their brotherly love to win affections of girls. It's a pretty funny anime actually." 

"In that case, I'll hafta give it a look sometime." Bat-Mite nodded.

"Oh, look I was right, there's Shrubby," Harley smirked before calling out. "Hey, Shrubby!"

The man she was calling out to didn't seem to notice her or seemed to care that she was there.

"Be right back." Harley told them before going to blend in with the crowd to talk with the one named Shrubby. 

"Alright, take your time." Bat-Mite shrugged.

"So, you hear anything from Thor lately?" Lady Gothika asked her childhood best friend.

"He misses the times when we all hung out," Sayiaman replied. "Especially with you. He's over his crush on you, but he still wants to hang out with you whenever possible." 

"I heard about your Underdog adventure," Bat-Mite nodded. "You all did plenty good for yourselves."

"Oh, you know about that?" Lady Gothika winced nervously.

"Yeah, and it sounds like he knows about your 'catastrophic' plot-twist as well." Sayiaman smirked to her. 

Bat-Mite nodded. "And FYI, Scrappy wasn't too happy about that little remark you made about kicking him earlier on. Told me so himself." he added with a sinister edge.

"It was a joke," Lady Gothika smiled bashfully. "I was joking!"

"Yeah, and it's about as funny as a bullet to the head." Scrappy commented, sitting nearby.

"Gah! Uh, hey there, Scrappy..." Lady Gothika greeted.

"What's up, Scrappy?" Sayiaman smiled. "It's sure been a while since we've seen you."

"Eh, I've been travelin' a lot; just sorta sight-seein'," Scrappy replied casually.

"Besides, making jokes at Scrappy's expense is so overdone," Bat-Mite added. "It was never cool to begin with. Besides, you shouldn't talk shit about a puppy who can lift a Great Dane AND a lanky food-eating teenager over his head with no effort."

"Hey, I said sorry, I'm over that anyway," Lady Gothika replied. "Even if Scrappy turned evil on our Spooky Island adventure."

"Just don't rap again, please, it's not for you." Sayiaman said to Scrappy.

"One, that was some evil faker version of me created by James Gunn," Scrappy explained. "And two, the rap was a spur of the moment thing--yet it was still better than most of today's music."

"I'm not a big rap fan in general, but thanks, Scraps." Lady Gothika shrugged. 

"So, what happened to Flim-Flam?" Sayiaman asked.

"I'm neutral towards that kid," Lady Gothika replied. "I'm not bothered by him, but at the same time, he doesn't make too much of a big impact on me. Could've been better, could've been worse, but nice to see he's matured in time for the newest Scooby movie."

"Honestly, I thought he was alright," Bat-Mite shrugged as Harley got up on stage. "He could've been used better, but he was okay."

"Pretty much, yeah." Lady Gothika agreed with Bat-Mite.

"Oh, man, what is she doing now?" Sayiaman groaned once Harley came on stage.

Harley then started singing as a song called "Hangin' on the Telephone" began playing.

"Is this charming or creepy?" Sayiaman asked.

Lady Gothika looked to him, unsure herself. "...Yeah?"

"Both." Bat-Mite sighed as midway through the song, Harley started jiggling her chest.

At least the other patrons seemed to like the song. Batman even seemed to be tapping his finger to the beat as even he seemed to enjoy it.

"Eh, it's decent." Bat-Mite shrugged. "Hey, is that Captain Clown? Didn't Batman shove him in a trash compactor?"

"They're cameos, you get used to 'em." Scrappy shrugged. "Besides, I just got off a crazy adventure with the Biker Mice from Mars."

"Hey, I remember that show!" Bat-Mite beamed. "Those guys were AWESOME!!"

Unfortunately, one of the thugs, dressed like one of Catwoman's henchmen from the 60s Adam West show thought it would be funny to make fun of Batman by going behind him and doing the Batusi. Batman glanced at that and looked quite annoyed.

"Ah, yes, the era of mutated animals who fight crime." Lady Gothika commented about the Biker Mice from Mars.

"Yeah, but they were alien mice from the planet Mars, not mutants," Bat-Mite clarified. "Plus, they didn't like cheese at ALL. Mostly cuz their foe was this guy named Lawrence Limburger, who was really a fish-faced alien called a Plutarkian, and he wanted to steal the world's resources. It's currently in reruns, Saturday mornings from 8:00 to 10:00 AM on the El Rey Network, but the episodes are also on YouTube."

"Yeah, I know..." Lady Gothika replied.

"Still one of those cartoons at the time." Sayiaman said.

"Oh, you mean you and your Mighty Ducks?" Lady Gothika teased him with a smirk.

"I haven't seen that show yet, but Rob Paulsen was on Biker Mice," Bat-Mite replied. "And Townsend Coleman, AKA Michelangelo, was on Mighty Ducks."

"Gotta love Rob Paulsen." Lady Gothika commented.

"Yup on that!" Bat-Mite agreed. 

And they continued talking as a fight in the club broke out between Batman and the patrons.

"Oh, my gosh!" Sayiaman gasped and he decided to go and help.

But Bat-Mite stopped him. "Relax, he's got this. In fact, I figure this is a nice way for him to blow off steam after how stressful tonight has been so far." he replied.

"You sure?" Sayiaman asked. "Well... All right. I'd hate to go Super Sayian on these bozos."

"Yeah. Batman will at least cripple 'em," Bat-Mite replied. "And if I know Super Saiyan, it would reduce these guys' bones to a powder."

"All right..." Sayiaman replied. "I'll try to cool it a bit."

Lady Gothika patted her best friend on the head with a small smirk. Eventually the fight ended, and they left.


	4. Chapter 4

"So, what'd Shrubby say?" asked Bat-Mite.

"It better had been useful." Lady Gothika added.

"Or else out you go!" Bat-Mite added.

"Eh, that was fun, wasn't it?" Harley replied. "I got what I needed."

Just then, the Batmobile's car-phone rang. "Go ahead, Watchtower." Batman stated.

"Hey Bats, it's Booster," said Booster Gold. "Got your emergency alert. Hey, the thing is, most of our heavy hitters are out near Rigel trying to stop a rogue comet or black hole or something. And a bunch of them are at that christening at Aquaman's place and you know the reception down there kind of sucks. I gotta handful of guys here on standby."

"Can you send anyone over?" Lady Gothika asked.

"I could send... Let's see... Black Condor?" Booster suggested.

Nightwing waved his hand in a 'meh' fashion.

"Elongated Man?" Booster suggested.

"He never shuts up." Lady Gothika whispered.

"Triumph?" suggested Booster.

Nightwing and Lady Gothika both gave loser gestures.

"Bloodwynd?" Booster suggested.

"Jerk." Lady Gothika spat out.

"I thought I was your jerk." Sayiaman playfully pouted.

"You're special." Lady Gothika replied.

"Or I could just come down myself, give you guys a hand," Booster suggested. "Not much going on up here, and the Foosball table is still busted."

Bat-Mite frantically waved his hands, as if saying, HELL NO.

"That's all right, Booster," Batman replied. "Thanks anyway. We'll make do."

"You sure? 'Cuz it's no problem," Booster replied. "One of these can totally cover for me."

"Sorry, Booster." Batman stated as Bat-Mite started crinkling paper near the speakers. "Going under some high-tension wires."

"That sounds like paper." Booster stated.

"Over and out." Batman replied as he shut off the communications system.

"Bullet... Dodged." Bat-Mite commented.

Lady Gothika soon sighed and leaned back in sweet relief. 

"That was too close." Nightwing added.

"We got any of them fries left?" Harley asked.

"Maybe." Bat-Mite shrugged.

Lady Gothika soon took out a bacon cheeseburger she ordered and began to eat it since she felt like she could use it right about now.

"Ya guys ever meet Spider-Man?" Harley asked.

"Yep." Lady Gothika and Sayiaman replied.

"Hm... Superman?" Harley asked.

"You're kidding, right?" Sayiaman smirked.

"Man, I have got to get more involved in these adventures." Bat-Mite sighed, poofing up a regular cheeseburger and eating it.

"How about Godzilla?" Harley asked.

"Obviously." Lady Gothika replied.

"Wait... Which version of the King of Monsters?" asked Bat-Mite.

"Uh... We saw him when we went to Japan with Mystery Inc with that samurai sword mess." Lady Gothika shrugged.

"Must've just been a joke by one of the animators." Bat-Mite shrugged.

"Um... Uh... Hmm..." Harley paused as she was trying to think of other people that Lady Gothika and Sayiaman could've possibly had met.

"They've met a LOT of people," Bat-Mite replied. "Save for Frosty the Snowman."

"Aha! So there are folks ya haven't met yet!" Harley smirked.

"Yes, Harley..." Lady Gothika rolled her eyes.

"Don't get a swelled head," Bat-Mite retorted. "It's a very large multiverse. And I intend to help them see it."

"Hm~" Harley smirked.

"Frosty the Snowman?" Sayiaman asked.

"I'm sure eventually." Lady Gothika replied.

"At some point, maybe." Bat-Mite shrugged.

"Well, we have met Rudolph and Santa..." Sayiaman replied.

"Ooh! I know! Chuck E. Cheese!" Harley smirked. "You haven't met Chuck E. Cheese, have you?"

"Does he even have a movie?" Lady Gothika shrugged before using her phone.

"Yeah, but it was a direct-to-video released by Funimation," Bat-Mite replied. "Barely even worth looking at."

"Hm... Maybe I'll pass..." Lady Gothika shrugged.

"Ronald McDonald?" Harley asked.

"Is she going to keep doing this the whole trip?" Sayiaman complained.

Bat-Mite snapped his fingers and Harley suddenly fell asleep. "Not anymore. You're welcome." he replied.

Sayiaman and Lady Gothika then sighed in relief from being asked so many questions about their various adventures together.

Eventually, they arrived at the lab where Ivy and Floronic Man were conducting their experiments.

"Maybe we'll meet Pinky and the Brain." Sayiaman smirked.

"Better than Pinky, Elmyra, and the Brain." Lady Gothika scoffed.

"Yeah, but like the theme song said, it was the network's fault," Bat-Mite replied. "Besides, didn't they see how adding in a third member to the comedy duo failed when they did Pinky & the Brain, and LARRY?"

Lady Gothika and Sayiaman shuddered about Larry as that brought up unpleasant childhood memories. Unfortunately for Lady Gothika, a friend of hers who was also the niece of Poison Ivy seemed to be there herself.

"Ah, Katie." Poison Ivy smiled.

"Hello there." Katie smiled back before they embraced each other.

"Who the heck is that?" asked Bat-Mite.

"No..." Lady Gothika frowned in dismay.

"Another friend of Cherry's," Sayiaman told Bat-Mite. "They're like sisters. Her name is Katie, and she is the niece of Poison Ivy."

"This can't be happening..." Lady Gothika frowned as the Katie she knew would never hurt a fly. 

A young man seemed to come beside Katie with a small smirk.

"No, not Mark too..." Lady Gothika then said before seeing the man which gave her an idea. "Unless..."

"Unless what?" asked Bat-Mite.

"That's... Darkiplier..." Lady Gothika whispered.

"Darkiplier?" Bat-Mite asked. "Seriously? Who the devil are these people?!? Seriously, all these unknown characters are beginning to piss me off!"

"Darkiplier is the YouTuber Markiplier's dark counterpart," Lady Gothika told Bat-Mite. "Markiplier is also Katie's boyfriend. We call him 'Mark' for short."

"Then he'd be the Negaplier!" Bat-Mite announced to a confused-looking Ivy and Floronic Man. "Poison Ivy, your perfidious plant plot will not be taking root, for I am about to weed you AND your leafy lackey out!!"

Katie looked over, just as confused before looking to Lady Gothika and whispered like she was almost out of control from a trance and sounded very soft. "Nee-Bear...?"

"Waitaminute.... What is HAPPENING now?!" Bat-Mite groaned, clutching his head as black smoke rose from his ears. "All these unexplained plot twists are confusing me!!"

"Welcome to my world." Lady Gothika muttered.

"Perhaps you shouldn't have come here." Darkiplier glared to her as he stood in front of Katie, gripping his walking cane.

"Alright, Negaplier," Bat-Mite snapped, adjusting his utility belt. "What's your angle? What can you gain from the entire world being turned into a giant garden?"

"It's Darkiplier, first of all, and second, I'm here 'cuz Poison Ivy made me a great offer to snatch Katie away from that dork positive counterpart of mine," Darkiplier replied. "I'll become a King with Katie as my Queen after becoming Poison Ivy's ally to make her niece see the light of the dark side of the law with her by our side."

"You sure? Negaplier sounds super-cool, and way less obvious," Bat-Mite replied. "And second, you don't even know if the formula will work! If even ONE TEENSY LITTLE THING goes wrong, then WE WILL ALL BE DESTROYED--even YOU AND KATIE!"

"You're ridiculous!" Darkiplier huffed. "You're just lucky we didn't also recruit Antisepticeye."

"Jacksepticeye's evil counterpart." Lady Gothika told Bat-Mite.

"Right. But still, Darkiplier, think logically!" Bat-Mite begged. "If Ivy gets that formula wrong... Then ALL OF THIS PLANET IS GOOD AS DEAD!!"

As he talked, and the others battled, a fire broke out, and Ivy and Floronic Man took off. Ivy wanted to go back for the others, but Woodrue wouldn't have it. 

"Those idiot meat-slates betrayed you, Pamela. Leave them to their fates!" he boomed.

Katie and Poison Ivy looked over before looking to each other as they were aunt and niece much like how Cherry was with Selina Kyle.

"We must GO, NOW!!!" Woodrue ordered, tugging Ivy along as he left.

"Looks like we'd better go too!" Bat-Mite stated, grabbing Darkiplier and Katie, along with the others, and smashing through the doors as the fire got even bigger.

"Katie... Are you okay...?" Lady Gothika asked. "Please remember me..."

Katie looked at her, a bit blankly.

"Maybe this'll help!" Sayiaman said as he grabbed Darkiplier's cane.

"Give that back, you Superman rip-off!" Darkiplier glare.

Sayiaman soon smashed the cane like Aladdin smashing Jafar's snake staff to free the Sultan, hoping it would bring Katie back to normal.

Suddenly, Katie blinked and clutched her head. "What's going on... What happened?" she asked.

Bat-Mite inflated his fist, and gave Darkiplier a punch that hit, and felt like, a wrecking ball crashing into his body, knocking him flat on his back. "Don't shit-talk my honorary brother-in-law, thank you very much." he stated, any trace of humor gone from his tone.

"Nee-Bear, is that you?" Katie asked.

"Oh, thank goodness!" Lady Gothika gasped before hugging Katie and looking to her. "What happened?"

"I... I'm not sure..." Katie replied. "One minute I was with Mark, and I got a call from Aunt Pamela, and suddenly... I dunno... I heard singing, but that's about all else I remember."

"Clearly Dorkiplier was using that staff of his to control your brain," Bat-Mite explained. "But it's broken now! By the way, here's an invite." he handed her another envelope. "Feel free to bring a plus-one if you wanna."

"Oh... Thank you," Katie smiled as she accepted it. "Nee-Bear, this friend of yours is quite charming."

"Uh, thanks, Kat." Lady Gothika replied.

Bat-Mite blushed. "Ah, shucks. Tweren't nuthin'. Sides, it's a wedding invite."

"I figured as much," Katie replied. "I'll be sure to tell Mark."

"Good on ya," Bat-Mite nodded. "And... Don't worry. We'll do what we can to save your aunt from making a serious mistake."

"Thank you again..." Katie replied. "That's very sweet of you too, Bat-Mite." 

"Well, we found Poison Ivy, so adventure over, right?" Lady Gothika wondered.

"That's a zilcho," Bat-Mite replied. "The bad guys escaped--headed to a swamp in Louisiana," He then pointed at Darkiplier and zapped him, making him vanish. "Now he's trapped in Limbo, within a sort of inter-dimensional prison. You think you can get back to your place, Katie?"

"Then we're heading to Louisiana as well," Batman replied. "The GPS coordinates for the Holland lab are locked in. Saddle up," he turned to Harley. "Thanks for your help."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Sayiaman said. "At least we don't have to worry about werecats this time."

"Hey! Now wait just a goddamn minute." Harley snapped. "That's it? You got what you wanted and now you just gonna dump me? Like Nightwing over here? Captain Kirk-ing me for info and then....'See you later, toots'? You need me, Batman! Uh-huh. That's right. You need me! You saw how tough Plant Guy is. Tossing you guys around like raggedy dolls. If he kicked your butts again, then what? You think you're gonna be able to sweet-talk Ivy into giving up her diabolical plan? Huh, Mr. Smoothie? 'Cuz I got to tell you, your line ain't that great. And besides--"

"Enough! I can't trust you." Batman explained.

Harley looked shocked. "But I thought... I mean, we..." she started.

"You are the walking definition of "loose cannon", Harley," Batman continued. "For all I know, you might decide at the last minute that Ivy's plan doesn't sound so cockeyed after all, because the wind changed direction, or because it's Thursday."

"But..." she stammered.

"I can't risk it. The stakes are way too high." Batman concluded.

"I'm sorry, Harley Quinn, but it's all over now." Lady Gothika told the clown girl.

"Baby Bat..." Harley frowned to her. 

"Don't 'Baby Bat' me..." Lady Gothika replied as she walked off.

"But..." Harley begged.

"But what?" Bat-Mite snapped.

"But I'll never survive the veggie apocalypse! Once I begged my mom for a cat, but I left the back door open one day and it ran away. And then I begged her for a hamster and I forgot to feed it for like a month. So then, then she said that maybe I could have a plant so she got me this itty-bitty fern in this cute little yellow pot and I forgot to water it!" Harley explained.

"Is there a POINT to this anecdote?" Bat-Mite asked.

"Well, what if I forget to water myself? Oh, please, Mr. 'Kind-of-Scary-but-Actually-Nice' Batman. Please let me come with you," Harley begged. "I can make Ivy change her mind and give up her diabolical plan with Tree Guy. I know I can! We're pals. Yeah, good pals like Jack and Jill. Or pork and beans. Oh, please. Please!"

Lady Gothika and Sayiaman glanced to each other as Harley begged and pleaded.

"God... Dammit..." Lady Gothika muttered as her eyes seemed to glow like rainbows as her Element of Empathy began to shine through her Equestrian medallion from her adventures in Equestria with Atticus, Mo, and Patch, even after all these years as she began to feel bad since Harley had broken down into tears.

"You know, you're always saying, 'Have a contingency plan'." Nightwing said to Batman.

Bat-Mite sighed. "You get one chance. ONE. And should you even consider turning traitor... I won't hesitate to destroy you," he glanced at the above text. "Also, I know what this Equestria is and next time, I want in. Beats sitting around."

Lady Gothika shook her head once her eyes went back to chocolate brown. "If you insist." she then said abut Bat-Mite coming along.

Bat-Mite nodded. "Awesome."

"Probably should've mentioned, I get a little airsick." Harley added.

"If you puke on one of us, you're outta here." Bat-Mite commented. "All in favor?"

"Aye." The others agreed.

"Promotion Carried." Sayiaman then added onto that.

Harley cupped her mouth as she looked sick to her stomach already and Sayiaman handed her a bag.


	5. Chapter 5

Eventually, they arrived in the Louisiana swamps. And luckily, Bat-Mite had cast an anti-bug forcefield around them to protect against mosquitoes.

"Some superhero you turned out to be," Harley grumbled, swatting at the bugs around her. "All that crap in your utility belt and ya didn't even bring any bug spray?"

"Hey, not my fault if nature likes your butt." Bat-Mite shrugged.

'Hexxus~...' A voice hissed as Lady Gothika came up to a tree.

Lady Gothika then dashed away quickly as that brought back unpleasant memories.

"Why are we talking about Tim Curry characters?" asked Bat-Mite, as Sayiaman seemed to snicker under his breath.

"Never mind that now, we got work to do." Lady Gothika replied.

"Right then..." Bat-Mite replied, before clearing his throat. "Let's get DANGEROUS!"

Suddenly, a vine came to life and grabbed a soldier, yanking him down as he screamed.

"Best catchphrase ever." Lady Gothika smirked to that.

They then continued to explore the swamp together which seemed to be more challenging than some thought it would be.

"...This could be bad." Lady Gothika muttered to herself.

Suddenly, Batman went down, and Nightwing did as well. Harley stood over them, smugly.

"What are you DOING?!" Nightwing asked.

"Doin' like you said," Harley sneered. "Because it's Thursday."

"I knew we couldn't trust that miserable broad!" Bat-Mite snarled. "She's had this butt-kicking coming ALL night!!"

"Yaaaugh!" Lady Gothika battle cried and soon pounced on top of Harley with murder in her eyes, but Harley just pushed her off with her legs as Ivy and Woodrue arrived, seeing Batman and Nightwing dangling over the maw of a tree-monster.

"Lyin' bitch...!" Bat-Mite grumbled, as he caught LG before she fell. "Guh.... Your butt... Is better than hers~"

"Uh.. Thank you, I think...?" Lady Gothika blinked bashfully.

"No problemo..." Bat-Mite replied, his face turning bright red under her rear.

"Harley?" asked Ivy, approaching.

"Hiya, sweetie!" Harley beamed. "Look, sorry for earlier. I had to make these chumps think I was on their side, so I could bring 'em here and wrap 'em up for ya so you could get on with your plan!" Then she dropped all pretense. "Pammy, honey, you gotta give up this crazy plan. It's really, REALLY nutzoid. Please don't turn us all into veggie-people."

"PLANTAZOIDS!!" Bat-Mite yelled.

"Whatever," Harley replied. "Look, there's gotta be another way. You're tampering with things man was never meant to know. I could put in a good word for you, 'cuz after all your heart's in the right place even if you killed all those people, but give up your plan. Pammy, sweetie, honey, baby. Please, please, please, give up your plan."

Lady Gothika put her hands to her ears as that sounded a bit annoying like she was a chipmunk on helium.

"What? No!" Ivy told her friend. "Harley, the Earth is dying! I'm not destroying the world, I'm saving it! Saving it from the takers and users. We've been surrounded by them all our lives, but we can change them! Train them! Shape them like the a good gardener. I don't wanna do it, I have to do it!"

"I heard THAT one a million times before." Bat-Mite snorted.

"Well, you can't blame a girl for trying." Harley shrugged before tossing a pellet into the tree-beast's mouth. 

It blew up, causing the beast to cry out as it died, releasing Batman and Nightwing. 

"Concentrated weed-killer. Kept it on hand since the lollipop incident." Harley then said.

"So... Are you on our side or what?!" Lady Gothika asked Harley. "You are seriously sending me mixed signals, Pennywisen-Heimer!" she then added, attempting to make a mocking nickname. 

"Yeah, whatever, Baby Bat, Mini-Bat," Harley retorted. "I might be a screwy Louise, but even I don't want the world destroyed."

"I thought you were my friend, Harley." Ivy snarled.

"Friends don't let friends kill 7 billion people!!" Harley snapped.

Ivy growled as she punched Harley several times, while Batman and Nightwing took on Floronic Man. Before either of them could attack, they were taken out by Floronic Man easily.

"He's like a big, leafy mountain...!" Bat-Mite remarked. "Maybe I could zap up some super-weed-killer...but that might have the opposite effect other than the intended one..."

Meanwhile, Harley flipped out of the way as Ivy attacked her. 

"You really are an idiot, Harley. We could have changed the world, but you're too dumb to see that!" she roared.

"So... What exactly do men find sexy about women fighting?" Lady Gothika asked. 

"I think they just hope their clothes get ripped so they can see their tits or asses," Bat-Mite shrugged. "I don't really understand it myself."

"Same." Sayiaman agreed.

Bat-Mite sighed. "I guess when it comes to most things, we're plenty pure," he shrugged. "Not that that's a bad thing."

Harley snatched Ivy's branch and punched her in the gut before flipping her over. "I'm smart enough to take away your stick, that's for sure!" she snapped. "Seriously, Pammy, your plan is totally bat-shit bonkers."

"Yeah, and in related news, chickens lay eggs and grass is green!" Bat-Mite snapped, before blinking. "Wow...I think LG is rubbing off on me."

"It happens." Sayiaman replied as he could relate since he knew Lady Gothika for a long time.

"So I've noticed." Bat-Mite shrugged.

Lady Gothika winced a bit about Batman getting hit, though she knew he would be fine in the end.

"They're killing our world!" Ivy told Harley. "What else can I do?"

"I dunno, vote Democrat, give money to Greenpeace!" Harley replied. 

"That's for saving whales, moron!" Ivy growled.

"WHATEVA!" Harley replied. "Anythin's better than turnin' us into walkin' Brussel Sprouts!" 

Ivy eventually tripped Harley up with a vine, and made her way to the table.

"That's it... The virus?" Harley asked.

"The solution," Ivy replied. "To ALL mankind's problems.... One way or another."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harley asked.

Ivy didn't even turn back.

"My God, Pammy... You haven't even tested it yet, have you?" Harley asked. "...Have you? That being said, if you just get one teensy-weensy thing wrong, you could end up killing everything on the planet. Everything, Pammy! Plants, people, animals... Everything!"

"It doesn't matter," Ivy sighed. "Earth will die anyway if I don't act. I'm sorry, Harley, but I have to roll these dice." she then added as she lifted up her beaker. 

"You're gonna make me do it, aren'cha?" Harley sighed. "Well, just remember--I gave you a chance. I'm goin' for the nuclear option." She wiped the makeup from her face, and began to sniffle as tears ran down her face.

"What're you--?" Ivy began to ask before looking back. "No!"

"That's right, sweetie," Harley replied. "The nuclear option."

"Wait, that was never an actual mask?" Sayiaman asked about Harley's make-up.

"You never knew that? Well, surprise, I guess." Lady Gothika replied. 

"Well, in the old episodes, it actually WAS a mask!" Bat-Mite replied. "She stole it and everything! Ah, well... Guess even these writers forgot."

"Oh, yeah, continuity doesn't exist in cartoons anymore, my mistake." Lady Gothika replied, holding a random Simpsons comic book for the sake of a joke. 

"I think they just didn't know," Bat-Mite replied as Harley and Ivy both began crying as they hugged each other. "Wait, are they gonna kiss now?"

"Uh, do you really think they would do that?" Sayiaman asked, a bit nervously.

"You're not a phobe, are ya?" Lady Gothika asked. "I mean, I've kissed other girls before."

"I need you so much!" Ivy cried as she hugged Harley, but they didn't seem to be kissing. 

Bat-Mite turned to Lady Gothika. "Wait, SERIOUSLY?!? WHEN, WHY, AND WERE ANY OF THEM BETTER THAN I WAS?" he asked.

"Calm down!" Lady Gothika told him. "I was in college, I was curious, and no one's better than you, especially with kissing." 

"Score!" Bat-Mite beamed. "Because I intend to prove that at the altar."

"You definitely kiss better than Sayiaman here." Lady Gothika said.

"That's because I'm like a brother to you." Sayiaman replied.

"...Yeah, that's true..." Lady Gothika admitted. "Kissing you does feel like I'm kissing my brother." 

"Once again, thanks for the validation!" Bat-Mite beamed. "And same for you, future brother-in-law! But I'm pretty sure Harley and Ivy are bisexual, so...yeah, they'd probably get to smoochin' if Ivy dropped some of her pheromones."

Meanwhile, Woodrue approached the two hugging women. "So, this is where your allegiance lies... With this cancerous MEAT." he scowled, as if he were spitting poison from his tongue.

"We can't do this, Jason," Ivy replied as she stood up. "If we've made one miscalculation, the whole Earth will die!"

"A small risk, and one I'm more than willing to take!" Woodrue replied.

"Well, I'm not." Ivy retorted, stone-faced.

"Pity." Woodrue glared before summoning a vine. 

"Get 'im, Red!" Harley beamed, as Ivy stood up.

"The plant world... Belongs to ME!!" Woodrue boomed as he managed to take down Ivy easily.

"Red!" Harley gasped, before getting angry. "Okay, fugly, you just bought yourself a first-class beating."

"Relax, I am a trained purr-fessional." A voice said.

Everyone soon turned to see that Bubsy the Bobcat came back.

"What the--?! What're you doing here?!" Sayiaman glared. 

Lady Gothika soon grabbed Bubsy and threw him at Woodrue as a sacrifice since no one would really miss him. 

Woodrue grabbed the cat and swiftly broke his neck like a dry twig. "At last, humanity's lunatic reign is over. No longer will this beautiful Earth be ravaged by poison and ignorance. No more will this be a world of screaming meat!" he laughed.

"Okay, making fun of Scrappy isn't cool, but making fun of Bubsy IS, because he deserves it." Bat-Mite clarified.

"I'll take care of this." Ivy told the others so she could handle Woodrue. 

"Alright then.... Best of luck to you," Bat-Mite shrugged. "And your niece Katie says hello."

"Is she all right now?" Ivy asked.

"Yes, she's free from Darkiplier," Lady Gothika replied. "That slime ball's always trying to make our lives Hell." 

"But luckily I trapped him in-between dimensions," Bat-Mite added. "Nobody gets out of an inter-dimensional prison, because after they're jailed, they get the death sentence. Elders said it was to make sure nobody in the other dimensions stepped out of line."

"Hopefully..." Lady Gothika replied. "I was promised to be a godmother to the child of Katie and Mark whenever he or she might be born."

"Thank you, Kitten, I won't forget that." Ivy said to Lady Gothika.

"Ease up on that Kitten stuff," Lady Gothika told her. "Only Aunt Catwoman can call me that... And occasionally Bat-Mite in the bedroom." she then added softly.

"I didn't just hear that." Sayiaman muttered in the background. 

Bat-Mite pumped a fist. "WHOO!! Then I guess that makes me the Godfather! I gotta practice my Marlon Brando JUST for the sake of that." he commented.

"Of course... The obligatory Marlon Brando impression..." Lady Gothika replied. 

"Naturally!" Bat-Mite grinned, as Ivy managed to block a tree punch from Woodrue. "Though I might hafta also go for an Isaac Hayes impression, cuz... Well, you know."

"Like you said, Jason.... The plant world.... Belongs to ME!" Ivy remarked.

But Woodrue just punched her in the face, knocking her over. He then took the formula... But before he could do anything, a wind whistled through the trees, and the water began to rumble.... And from the murky depths, emerged Swamp Thing. Lady Gothika came over Batman.

"LG..." Batman grunted to her a bit.

"Oh... You're bleeding..." Lady Gothika winced at the sight. 

"I'll be fine..." Batman replied.

"Jason Woodrue... The Earth has indeed suffered... At the hands of mankind," Swamp Thing droned. "However... This is not the way to right the wrongs... Done to Mother Gaia. Though your cause is just... Your actions... Have upset the balance... In the green."

"I'm sorry..." Woodrue whimpered. "I'm so sorry..."

"Are you now?" Lady Gothika asked, sounding deathly sharp in her tone. 

"But....it is not my place to judge..." Swamp Thing continued, making Bat-Mite's jaw hit the ground with a KLANG!

"Wait, what?!" he asked.

"All will be... As it will be.... I return now to the Parliament of Trees... To seek the hidden truths at the center of eternity..." he continued as he began to sink back into the lake.

"Swamp Thing?" Lady Gothika and Sayiaman muttered to each other.

"No, no, no! Don't go!" Nightwing begged.

"To know unknowable nature in all its infinite splendors." Swamp Thing concluded.

"Screw unknowable nature!" Harley glared. "Kick his butt!"

"Farewell..." Swamp Thing said as he came into the waters. 

Well, that was a big-ass bucketful of nothin'." Harley commented.

"The Justice League Action version of him was WAY more awesome." Bat-Mite commented.

Woodrue blinked for a few seconds.... And then he began to laugh evilly.

"Now what? There's gotta be a way..." Nightwing wondered.

"I got it--" Harley replied.

"We tried everything," Lady Gothika told her. "The sonic disrupter barely fazed him!"

"What about--" Harley tried again.

"And the bio-feedback Baterangs didn't do squat!" Lady Gothika continued. "I don't know what mine or Sayiaman's powers can do."

"BABY BAT!" Harley called to her.

"What?!" Lady Gothika then asked.

"Look, your goddaddy and friends are pros here, but well... He's all leafy and everything." Harley told her. 

"Hey! And in Pokemon, grass-types are weak to....EL FUEGO!!" Bat-Mite grinned, lighting his hand up with a fireball. "Thanks bunches, Harley-girl!"

And Batman and Nightwing both kissed her on the cheeks.

Harley blushed, "Aw, you guys..." she beamed.

"Childhood ruined..." Lady Gothika muttered.

"You're fine." Batman smirked to his goddaughter. 

"Besides, your childhood already happened, so it can't be ruined by something that didn't happen during it. Plus, I'll be sure to fix that myself, if you get my drift." Bat-Mite winked at LG as he wound up his arm, and pitched the fireball at Woodrue.

Lady Gothika just looked bashful, but didn't say anything. Woodrue looked over as he seemed to be screwed now. The fireball hit him, and he ran off into the woods, screaming in pain.

"Are we at the Friar's Club?" asked Bat-Mite, putting on sunglasses. "Because he just got ROASTED!"

"YAAAAAAH!!!" A random voice screech in the background.

Bat-Mite nodded his head. "Nice. Alright, let's get Plant Lady and head for home." he replied, putting the shades away.

"All right, let's go then." Lady Gothika replied.

Batman, Nightwing, and Harley soon got up to come and help. So they picked up Ivy, got back in the Batmobile, and headed back to Gotham.


	6. Chapter 6

"By the way, the big ceremony's gonna be in a week, and feel free to bring a plus one." Bat-Mite explained.

"Congratulations again." Batman smiled sincerely and fatherly. 

"Thanks," Bat-Mite beamed. "Coming from you, that means a lot."

"Well, just make sure you take very good care of LG," Batman replied. "She may not be biologically, but she was always like a daughter to me." 

"Hey, you have my word," Bat-Mite nodded seriously. "I intend to take good care of her for as long as we live."

"I knew I could count on you," Batman replied. "You have my blessing as long as you live up to that promise." 

Bat-Mite beamed giddily. "I won't let'cha down!" he replied, giving a salute.

"That's a good man." Batman approved.

At that point, Ivy regained consciousness as Bat-Mite put on the mix CD again.

"Are you okay, Ivy?" Lady Gothika asked.

"Guh... Baby Bat... What happened?" Ivy asked her.

"Never mind that, are you okay?" Lady Gothika replied. 

"Let's just say Woodrue is being burned to a crisp as we speak." Bat-Mite replied.

"Give my best to Katie when you see her again, alright?" Ivy asked Lady Gothika.

"I will," Lady Gothika promised. "She really misses her Aunt Pamela, especially with meeting Mark." 

"Besides, Ivy, I found an entire dimension where everything's completely planti-ficated," Bat-Mite added. "Oughta be less risky than the crazy escapade you went through with ol' Jason W."

"I see... Thank you, Bat-Mite..." Ivy replied. "I wasn't too sure about you at first, but this was quite the adventure." 

"Indeed," Bat-mite nodded. "And I know that while you can be a bit zealous in your goals, you have a good heart deep inside."

"Eh... I do what I can." Ivy replied.

"Well, with your good heart, I can tell you're related to Katie now." Lady Gothika said since her friend Katie was usually very sweet and innocent unless she got angry or provoked. 

"Oh... And I suppose you can take this," Bat-Mite replied, handing her an invite. "Bring a plus-one, if you want."

Ivy accepted it and saw that it was a wedding invitation which made her give a small smile. 

"Yeah, I made a lot..." Bat-Mite shrugged as Harley squee'd over it.

"I call being Ivy's plus-one!" she remarked.

"Now I just gotta make sure the rest of our friends get them..." Bat-Mite stated.

"Sounds good..." Sayiaman said before beaming. "I better get home myself to tell a certain lover of nature about this."

"I guess I better see an old friend about this too..." Lady Gothika said, thinking about Thor, even if he was over his crush on her, she just hoped he wouldn't throw a fit or get jealous. 

"Hey, no worries," Bat-Mite replied. "I got your back, no matter what! Stay tuned for our next adventure, folks: THE BIG DAY! Same Bat-time, same PerkyGoth page!" 

"It'll be a wedding not to forget!" Sayiaman beamed as he was soon seen with Nature Girl who smiled to him. 

"Definitely, so tune in! You don't wanna miss it!" Bat-Mite smirked as the camera faded out.

The End


End file.
